Experience and training guide my work. I have a Master’s in Psychology with an emphasis on Marriage and Family Counseling. I have worked with high-conflict couples involved in court matters, as a Certified Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor with injured workers, and as a Certified Substance Abuse Counselor with the military for 20 years and with civilians for 20 years.

Many individuals I have worked with were transitioning from divorce to being single, from unemployed to employed, or from substance use to sobriety. I worked as a Counseling Psychologist with the U.S. Army in the Substance Use Disorder clinic at Schofield Barracks, HI, during the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars. I was one of the first men to work in an all-women’s residential drug treatment program.

The ongoing conflict with your spouse is draining you. You’re stuck in the same cycles, trying to explain yourself while feeling unheard, misunderstood, or blamed. No amount of conversation seems to help. In fact, attempts to connect can make you feel even lonelier when nothing changes. The connection that once felt so easy now feels distant, replaced by tension, defensiveness, and silence. You ask yourself where the partner you fell in love with went and why it feels so hard to find your way back to each other. Beneath the frustration, both of you want the same thing: to feel understood, respected, and close again.

My article, “Why Relationships Fail & How the 8 C’s Can Save Them,” published in the Hawaii Psychological Association newsletter, is a powerful roadmap of characteristics, behaviors, and actions that have helped many couples improve their relationship. I can help you too.

My 20 years of substance abuse and rehabilitation counseling work experience supports sobriety and happiness in your life. No one is perfect, and failures are a way to learn something different. I encourage clients to see the lesson or positive message in the negative experience. I also challenge clients not to beat themselves up for past or present failures, but to look at the experience as a “glass of water half full,” not half empty. We are all learning to be human.

When I am not working, I enjoy walking and hiking in the mountains of Hawaii, traveling, authoring articles, doing repairs on my property, and spending time with my wife. We are a cross-cultural couple, which has helped me better understand the crucial role that language and culture play in all relationships.

I have lived in Hawaii for over 46 years and strongly believe in the idiom, “Lucky you live Hawaii.”